Posted by: YWB | March 31, 2009

Recovering Phase


I am having this feelings for long time now but today it got worse. I am not aware of the reasons (or maybe i am and i dont want to admit). It got worse when i read your note, i didnt know what to do but just sit there and try to explain it to my self in easy and clear words as what these feelings are. Am i not happy? I am suppose to be specially after finding out the truth, yes the truth, which was quite painful in all aspects yet i dont want to admit that i care. I’ve been telling myself since day1. Past 2 months were so painful and it only got worse, at times i felt like i am recovering but than i was back to square one with not even slitest improvement. I feel like shuting all the doors and windows and dont want to be bothered if its day or night, if its summer or winter has arrived and spring is gone for ages now.

A story was told by my grandmom when i was so young to even understand the deep underlying themes of the story. I just took the story so literally and was so glad about the happy ending, when i grew up, faced many challenges in life, met many people, shamshed with realities of life, at times i was so hurt due to people i loved the most who were not meeting up my expectations. That was the time when i traveled back in time and remembered the story i was told. Than i started connecting dots and that was the only time when i didnt hear my grandmom’s voice in which she was telling me that same story. It was that time when at the end of the story i cried, i cried so hard and wished that this story would end at the same phrase “happily ever after”, but there was no “happily ever after” ending, i was just decieved. It had a tourturing and painful ending which no one could ever change but faith.

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Responses

  1. why are u so depressed? 😦 subha subha dopahar k 2 baje mujhey bhi depress kr dia, wese after reading ur post i am thankful to GOD that my Grandmother died before my birth, agar mai un k haath charhta to mera bhi yahi hashar kartin

  2. Assalamu Alaikum. It’s my first time here. That’s a very sad post 😦 I don’t know what all you went through, but I pray that Allah gives you the patience and the courage to face all of life’s trials. And most importantly, bless you with the beautiful life that you deserve.

    Thanks for visiting my blog! Looking forward to see you again 🙂

  3. Cheer up sweets 🙂

    *hugs* Hope this helps 😦

    And hey, you’re tagged 🙂 Ab smile jaldi se 😉

  4. Did I tell you how much I absolutely love the 4 pictures and the captions on the top of your blog…

    WOW FACTOR for me… absolutely beautifully done…

  5. hugs!!!
    i just hope you feel better!

  6. May Allah give you the strength you need to overcome these difficult times.

  7. You don’t need to change anything! Faith is accepting that what happened, did so for your best – not having to change it. Many sincere prayers for you Z! BTW, have you heard “To The Edge” by Lacuna Coil?

    Here it starts to enlighten
    There’s a frame I can’t change
    That I just have to watch again

    And yeah, I agree with UTP – love your header image!


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